You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize