is wine microwaveable?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
