I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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