So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
