end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
