yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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