Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I AM VODKA MAN
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
