Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
