I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
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