i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
