There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
