omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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