im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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