pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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