the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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