I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
