whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
