I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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