i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
