WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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