Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
