Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
