I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
