I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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