OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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