Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
