I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
