My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
