I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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