but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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