would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
