frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
