If i come over, it means nothing
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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