Need sex. Gaining weight.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
