is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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