i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
