Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I love having hate sex.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
