I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
