Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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