Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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