week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
