just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
