It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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