I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
