...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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