Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
