Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
