i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
