You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
