i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
