Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
worst night to have a conscience
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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